Podcast Episode 6: How To Raise Good Kids
An Interview With Dr. Gus Carlo, expert on raising great kids
Favorite Quotes from Dr. Carlo:
"You ask any parent: how would you like your child to be? And they're going to tell you, basically, that they want their kid to be a good pro-social, moral kid. A kid that's kind to others, respectful, nice, obedient and all of those positive things."
"If you have a child with difficult temperament, the last thing you what to do is to use any sort of harsh discipline or physical discipline. That is only going to add to the problem."
"It's like a jigsaw puzzle in the end. The more of these pieces - or risks - that are in your child's environment, the greater the likelihood your child will develop anti-social behaviors."
"For most of us, the only way we know how to raise children is based upon our own personal experiences, and that's not necessarily the best teacher."
"If the only time that we take to teach our kid to be a good kid is when our kid does something wrong, then we are really short changing ourselves."
"If we want more desirable, more positive behaviors, then we need to take steps to encourage and promote and foster these behaviors, and not just pay attention to those undesirable behaviors."
"Using social rewards [like love, affection and praise] is much more powerful and is linked to higher moral development and better pro-social behaviors than the use of material rewards."
Nature versus nurture. It’s a concept we often discuss as parents in relation to how our children act or eventually turn out. How much do our parenting practices actually influence our children? Enough of the hearsay. Let’s look at the science.
Dr. Gustavo Carlo studies these concepts and we are honored to talk to him about his scientific findings. Dr. Carlo is a professor at the University of Missouri’s Human Development and Family Science department. He also a father himself.
He has spent his career studying the development of morality in children and how children develop pro-social behaviors. For example, he researches what causes a child to be kind, be respectful and be nice to others. He identifies the biological reasons and also the parent’s roles for these developments. In other words he scientifically sorts out the roles of nature versus nurture in raising great human beings.
In this episode we cover:
- the risk factor in toddlers that can cause aggressive, delinquent, immoral behaviors when these children are 10 years old and older
- the risk factors that parents engage with parenting their toddlers that can cause aggressive, delinquent, immoral behaviors when these children are 10 years old and older
- how parents can set their children up for success in developing pro-social and moral behaviors
- why reinforcing positive behavior is so much more effective than criticising negative behavior
- why let your child (and yourself) cool down before teaching how to manage behaviors and regulate emotions
- why the way you yourself were raised is not necessarily the best teacher
- why it's important to use social praise to reinforce positive behavior and not material rewards
- Dr. Carol's advice to parents expecting a child
- and much much more....
Dr. Carlo's books:
- New book on Ethnic/Racial Minorities in Rural U.S.: http://www.springer.com/us/
- New book on Prosocial Behaviors:
Read more on Dr. Carlo here.