"Pain plus reflection equals progress" - Ray Dalio
Who the heck is Ray? He's Dad of 4 and also founder of Bridgewater (a financial firm), which has about $160 billion under management.
When we keep doing the same things day in and day out, we do not grow, we do not evolve. It's when we experience pain, embrace it, reflect upon it and note how to make that pain better, that we become better. We can help our children do the same.
We can ask, "Why do you think.... you felt sad? .... your sister is upset?.... your teacher asked you to stop acting a certain way?" And then "How can you.... use your words to tell your friend that made you sad? Help your sister feel better? Change the way you handled your school work?" And then, "What can you do next time to avoid this situation?"
Pain, like weaknesses, is part of the human condition.
1850 years ago, Marcus Aurelius writes,
"Observe how all things are continually being born of change; teach yourself to see that Nature’s highest happiness lies in changing the things that are, and forming new things after their kind. Whatever is, is in some sense the seed of what is to emerge from it. Nothing can become a philosopher less than to imagine that seed can only be something that is planted in the earth or the womb."
Will you teach and model avoidance of change, fear of pain, seeking the status quo or will you teach your child how to progress and how to grow?
Ray Dalio's interview with Tim Ferriss
Marcus Aurelius' Meditations